Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Give me Something to Believe In

In the last few days, I feel like I have been bullied, shamed, ridiculed, made fun of, stomped on and and inadvertently made to feel worthless for standing up for what I believe in and for an organization who believes in me.  I often wondered if had a gun to my head, would I denounce what  I believe in?  Would you?  Would you take a bullet for what you believe in? Be it your faith, your beliefs, your way of going about life?  I am proud to say that I have stood up for something I believe in...and it's for the good of the world too...and took a pretty hard emotional bullet for it and I'd do it all over again in a minute...

My equestrian journey just doesn't involve being in a saddle with my horse out there alone riding the horizon. Riding, in many ways, is the easiest part of the journey.   Enjoying 3 miles an hour (or 4, if on a gaited horse) atop of a comfy saddle is easy compared to when it comes time to unsaddle, set up camp, and step down out of the saddle.

Stepping out of the saddle, there's time for to think, reflect, grow and complete my journey right here as I type in my living room.  I try to put words to the experience of a long distance equestrian journey as members of the Guild know that with a long ride, words just don' t seem to encompass the reality a ride expresses as it becomes an entity of it's own. I fail at doing so too even though my miles are not consecutively significant... The personal transformation after stepping down out of the saddle is just another aspect of it...it 's a bittersweet aspect of it, it's the end of it.  But is it really the end?

The other day, I was talking with someone who rode coast to coast from California to New Hampshire in an email. After the conclusion of a long equestrian horse journey, people forget seem to forget that us equestrian travellers and the messages we leave behind.

Over the 1100 in-consecutive miles I have ridden with my horse across the United States, many times people give me a "uh-huh" and a small acknowledgement of this feat.  Believe me, I am not a fame or fortune hunter.. NOT AT ALL.  But  I mention that because people need so much hope in this broken world, they jump on the next adventure of hope that comes along and slough off and forget the world of hope we have created for them. We are so grateful for them...as they push us forward, mile after mile and day after day.  These hope-givers like us.. feel like we have been abandoned each other perhaps.  But I do know one thing where do we adventurers draw our own hope and encouragement when we give it so frequently when we can't find it in ourselves.  She said to me, "I don't talk about my ride anymore for the fear of "uh-huh".

That tells me this world is still SO BROKEN and so hurt by it's own self that we need to journey like this by horse MORE OFTEN to remember how we are grounded to ourselves in our world in the first place.

My equestrian journey never stops as it is through horses that I connect with people.  And being around horses, I try to understand life through their perspective -- and I fall so short of their grace and forgiveness that I embarrass myself many times.

So that brings me back to .. would you take a bullet for what you believe in??? I would..because I know that some of those things I believe in (and others would agree) really have the potential to save the world....


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